Entry One
I looked at my hands. What had I become? A tool of the capitalist market perhaps? Had my dream of Socialist Bliss been hypocritically shot down by my own foolishness? Would I never again see the vast Cornfields of Kansas? I took a long, hard look at myself in the mirror. What the hell was I thinking? Who was this desperate son-of-a-bitch the earth was plagued by? It was me. Ashamed as I was, there was no way I could change what I had become - without effort. And so, the game begun. 

Having already established that I had received that e-mail either through accident, divine intervention, or because they thought I liked them, there was no turning back. The Law of Hing states that no girl will ever hit on me unless they are doing social research, plan on cheating on me, or want something. However this does not mean every girl doing Social Research will hit on me, or using me for that matter. For example, Jacyleen is using me, she admitted it, although I'm not sure what for, I mean - it's me. Anyway Jacyleen, I've got a bone to pick with you, but I'll get to that later. Getting back to the story though. As said, my observational powers as a sleuth had led me to believe that the were only three ways that e-mail could've found its way over here.

The first was via horrible accident. Now, accidents happen like TV Crews at Cazbah High and I am willing to accept that this was merely a typo, a clouded judgement, or a broken condom. The second was through divine intervention, now although this is less than likely, in fact it is interestingly trivial for Our Lord to worry himself with, and so although possible, it's not probable. The third "miracle" involved a gross misunderstanding and a retarded act on their part. So I'm thinking it's not as probable as an accident but it's just as, if not more likely, than Divine Intervention in my quest.

Now, in the first scenario, it was just a mistake. There would be no embarrassment if I found out who had ordered this demon set upon my life, and all would be forgiven, simple, honest, mistake. No harm done - that can't be fixed. In the case of the second scenario, well, it was God's will - and as unlikely as it is that Our Father would bother himself without so much as a request from myself  - thus, being God's Will, if I were to find out who it were who released the hounds, then no harm could be done - it was God's plan. The third, and final possibility invokes the word disappointment from myself. Now, unless you were her, there is absolutely no point in thinking I liked you, and chances if you are her, you know - and I know - so what was the point of guessing. If however, you aren't her, then you've essentially condemned me to this cycle of ponder for the next 3 - 4 years - I hope you are happy. I have no reservations about revealing your identity to the world.

Honestly, the fact that you thought I'd use something as evil as Crushlink to express my feelings is - well, it just shows you how pathetic you think I am. Now, if some people use these means in order to contact the love of their life's then cool, use away, but it's not something I adhere to. I am not a fan. If you had this funny idea I liked you, you could've asked me about it, I mean, I would've said no very quickly and very sternly, but you would at least know where we stand. I'm assuming you're a girl, but you're acting like a bloke, seriously. Just get it the fuck over with.

So anyway, Crushlink have given me this retarded-as hint system, which I have ignored until now, whereby I guess whoever it is who screwed up. Now I, (spiteful as I am) have taken it upon myself to go through with obtaining these little hints - the game has begun. If you can guess who ever it is who has sent me this e-mail then go for it. As of now, I have absolutely no idea who it was - and maybe I don't want to know. Anyway, it's a risk I'm willing to take. To obtain the hints, I just have to sign up for various institutions, and although The Evil Bastards probably receive cold, hard f-cash-ucks, I honestly think it'll be worth it.

The Game Has Begun
Of course, if you come clean, then yeah, there'll be no point to play the game at all, so don't come clean.

Clue Number 1.
Her (at least I'm hoping) e-mail address ends with @hotmail.com.

Clue Number 2.
The username to her e-mail address has at least 8 characters. (That's the bit before @hotmail.com)

Clue Number 3.
Her first name has 6 letters.

Hing - - Out

Am I The King of Games To Pass The Time - or What? - - - - - Life's A Game.