Rants – Tom and Jerry
  Today’s rant is about (*drum roll*) Tom and Jerry! I dunno… I switched the TV on, and then out popped a big cat…and a small rat. Yet, this was so intriguing. A little rat who firstly, could pick up an anvil, which, when dropped, caves a 10 foot hole in the ground. “It’s a cartoon!” they say, but someday, some jackass kid is going to try and pick up an anvil, have a hernia, and maybe rip their guts and die. Not only that, its also bringing false hope into kids. Now, people, unless you’re pretty tough, someone in your school is gonna bully you, diss you, extort cash, whatever. And from watching Tom and Jerry, I find that Jerry, the rat, always wins. If you’re young enough that you watch Tom and Jerry, and gullible enough that someone actually got you to visit this site, you’d probably think you could kick the bully’s ass. Not so. In most cases, sensible people would run away, as fast as they can. I’m bigger than most in my school, and am in the rugby team, so I don’t usually get picked on. But when I see people who do, I find that bullies usually work in groups. So, when you stick up to the bully, you’re not sticking up to someone two heads taller than you, you’re sticking up to at least 5 people that size. Unless you have a death wish, I don’t recommend doing anything that the mouse on that show does. I think that jerry should just move.

  Secondly, I don’t see why the cat just doesn’t find another mouse to pick on, after being blown up by an average of 50 sticks of dynamite a year, having another ten anvils dropped on his head a week, and being hammered out by the dog every time Jerry's in shit. If I was tom, I’d just find some other food! Well, maybe Jerry’s really tasty or something, but WTF? A smart cat would know that it’s not worth the pain you take, and just move on to some other food. My conclusion? That jerry is a dumbass. I was just complaining about the unrealistic-ness of the show (is that a word??!), but don’t despair, there’s more to come.

   Next, the slots are filling up. Where I come from, it plays good shows about.. hmm, once a month? Half the time, it’s jacked with Tom and Jerry, once and again, the bold and the beautiful… It’s seriously pissing me off. There’s about no good comedy on TV, so I have to resort to coming on the bob and talking about this stuff -_-. I’m straying from the point, but let me stray more. Honestly, when I got on the TV just an hour ago, the best show on it was Tom and Jerry. TOM AND FUCKING JERRY! The BEST show that was on was Tom and Jerry. Get that, people. Maybe I should complain to the Cable Company, but I’m not the pro-active sort. I just like to sit back and bitch. Anyways, enough straying. Tom and jerry. It’s so stupid, and the stereotyping is getting me mad. I guess that at first, that was the opposite idea, since, after all, the cat preys on the rat. (I dunno, I’ve never actually seen a cat chasing a rat, but that’s just me.) Then, they came up with roadrunner and Sylvester. And Bugs Bunny, and Tweety bird (or was it Sylvester and Tweety bird?!). And there’s so many more that to name them would mean to spend another page of useful space. It’s become a stereotype, and watching it makes me wanna hurl as much as watching fat – removing ad’s. I have nothing against thin people, but when I watch those ads, especially when a scientist steps out and shows a presentation of how fast the fat escapes through sweat… it just makes me queasy. Not to mention when the people say how fat they were before and how skinny they are now… LOOK IM STRAYING AGAIN!… Sorry everyone. Anyway, yeah. It’s just getting too common. I propose that cable companies remove all Tom and Jerry shows, and replace them with good TV!! Yeah. Whatever.

   My third and final point is the stupidity of Tom. This whole paragraph is dedicated to Tom, and examples of things he does. Okay, first, the rubbing of his paws when he actually gets Jerry. I have to say this. WHAT A DUMB FOOL! EAT THE BUGGER ALREADY! Okay, caps lock and bold off. It’s so annoying to see Jerry escape from Tom’s hands at the last second… Frustrating, even for me. It’s like trying to pick a marble covered in oil up with chopsticks. You work at it, and when the oil finally drips off, and you pick the marble up, you loosen your grip and it slides back out. You probably wont understand this example, since I don’t either, but yeah. It’s just annoying. Also, the fact that when he rounds a sharp corner, he almost always bumps into the bulldog. I hate it when that happens… Yeah, it’s just annoying too… (See how I find everything annoying? I think this show was seriously not made for me.) And he’s usually slower than Jerry. HOW DOES THAT WORK OUT? Tom, bigger muscles, faster legs. Jerry, small guy, weak as hell. Think of it this way: Which would cover more distance : a huge wheel, or a coin? No, I don’t care about your complicated physics answer. In my world, a wheel would move faster. Don’t blame me, my arguments are almost never backed up J. Yet, the rat is almost always faster than the cat! What’s up with that? I’m startin’ to rap, and that’s how I plan to end this rant, with a rap and a slap and thank you for reading my shit. That doesn’t rhyme, but whatever.